I'm in desperate need for some parenting advice. My little angel REFUSES to go to sleep. She just won't do it. I can't even remember the last time she went to bed at a decent hour, and trust me, it's not from a lack of trying.
She used to be really, REALLY good about bed time. We would lay on the bed, drink some milk and watch about 10 minutes of a movie. After her milk was gone she would say good night to Elmo, Nemo, or whatever was on, lay in her bed and off to slumber land she'd go. Then, somewhere along the lines we (ok, probably ME) let her stay with us a little longer. Then we (this time I do mean WE) took away her binkie... (cue the dun, dun, duuuuun music) She did surprisingly well with it. After about 2 days she didn't even ask for it at all. But now we're back to bed time.
The kid can negotiate. She's not even 2 years old and she asks for everything under the sun to get out of bed. First it's milk, followed by "mommy, book?", then "mooie peeeeeas" (movie) and the last ditch effort of "I hungee, eat? peeeeeas." And when we've gone through all of those she cries and cries, THEN asks to be rocked. SERIOUSLY! SHE'S NOT EVEN TWO! IS THIS NORMAL!?!?!
So I ask you. What would you do? What have you done with your own children? I'm such a softie and I HATE letting her cry. I shut the door to her room the other night, (just for a second to get a small grip on myself) and it took her about a minute and a half to start calling me, crying "Mommy, help me! Mommy, I stuck! Mommy, out!" Of course I immediately went back in. I needed to save her! Right?
Now, let's just talk about me for a minute. I LOVE sleep. I have always loved sleep. My pillow is one of my nearest and dearest friends. I understand that with children you never really sleep the same again, if at all. But should that mean that my head automatically turns into her pillow? Literally. She lays on my head.
So there are many, MANY reasons my little punkin needs to get some sleep. First and foremost, she's just a wee little thing and children need sleep. Lots of sleep to grow and develop and be healthy, yadda yadda yadda. And secondly, (and selfishly) I miss my sleep. Mama needs some sleep so I can go back to being Happy Mommy.
So, suggestions. Please.
Monday, October 15, 2007
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9 comments:
i honestly don't have the best advise since we too are softies. Anika STILL sleeps in our bed. We figure we all sleep well and so does she so why fight her. I would try letting Alyssa cry it out, she might learn not to ask for things if she knows you are going to just leave her in her bed to cry. good luck!!! she really does have you trained! it is amazing how smart our little kiddies are at a young age!!
Man, I am the same way (not soft) but like my sleep. I have always been tough on sleep (I told you some of what I do...) But really, she is playing you...;) My pediatrician told me that they need you in the "middle" of the night, meaning, if she cries at night, you do need to go in and comfort her. You could try making her stay in her bed at night, and to make YOU feel better instead of shutting the door, try putting up a baby gate. That way she is in HER room, but still has the comfort of knowing you are there, the hall light is on etc...but at that point don't give in. She ask for everything because she knows you are soft. Be a little tougher and I bet in a week she will be back to sleepy sleep! Love you!
Cassie, Cassie, Cassie. I feel for you my friend. I just should not offer advice because I have the same problem. Parker just sleeps in our bed because it's easier that way. Mike doesn't like it much, but he doesn't have to get up with the kid and I'm a BAD BAD person when I don't get my sleep. Ask anyone! I just feel bad for our next one because it's going to have things a bit different. No more Mrs. Nice Mom. It's going to be cryin' itself to sleep while Parker if fast asleep in our bed!
Oh man. I am just going to sit here and watch the comments because I need this advice just as much as you do. I too love my sleep yet I go to bed later and later because (well, ok there are a few other reasons) but because Mr. L goes to bed later and later. That kid can live on very little sleep. I NEED HELP! I refuse to let him sleep in our bed but now he is sleeping in the playpen at the foot of our bed. Yes he is three. Yes he should sleep in his own room. Yes he plays us. Yes I have tried letting him scream and cry and have tried putting him back fifty times a night. NO, I don't know what to do about it. Sorry Cass. No help here. Hoping your post helps me with some ideas too. :-)
Good luck Cassie. The only thing I can suggest is, like what everyone else is saying,be tough. Kids are very smart and they know how to play the game. I was lucky because all of my kids loved their sleep, maybe even more than me. So this is not from personal experience but maybe try this. Do your typical bedtime routine and put her to bed. Then if she asks for anything or gets out of bed or something, all you do is pick her up and put her back into bed no talking to her and no eye contact. If she doesn't get out of bed but cries for you I heard what you could do is lay her in bed and then sit on the floor in her room so she can see you and knows you are there, but don't talk to her or make eye contact with her. Eventuallly she will learn that bedtime means bedtime. I think that you should try a few different things and I am sure you'll find something that works. Good Luck! I feel for you
Looks like I'm the mean mom of the bunch(but it sounds like I'm the only one getting sleep at night) Just kidding.....remember what I told you...it works...
The key to sucess is to find something she really likes to do, make this part of the bedtime ritual. If she likes stories read a book, if she likes songs sing a song. By incorporating something that she really enjoys before bed time you have made bedtime something that she looks forward to and will want to do each night. The flip side of this is it also gives you something to take away the following night if she doesn't behave well. For my boys I tickle the heck out of them right before bed, it wears them down and although they keep begging for more, when I tell them we are done I stick to my guns and they know its time for bed and go off happy as do I. Good luck!
Hey Cas, just because you seem to have forgotten---you got up with the sun from birth until junior high. You always thought you might miss something. Your sweet baby just thinks she might miss something at night. This is only one of those many stages that children go through. Look at Mist, she can sleep in her bed and has for the last thirteen years. One day Alyssa will just go to sleep in her big girl bed without any problems but then she will work on some new challenge for you. It's all good, just love her and enjoy the ride!
Love Mom
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