Quick Little Update...

... for those of you who may or may not have recently added this blog to your list of favs. :) (little side note: for some unknown reason, half of the buttons on the tool bar have gone missing, the ones that let me center this text, change the font, size etc. it's rather annoying.) So I've pretty much had a stellar week. Monday I watched cute Evan, who played SO well with Alyssa that I didn't have to really do anything. LOVE those days! Tuesday I had my vocal group, then my cute g-ma took me to Cafe Rio, then Alyssa had her gymnastics class. All sorts of a fun day. Wednesday my little niece Olivia's adoption was finalized in court. Alyssa and I had the privilege of attending the festivities. Then we went to my sister-in-laws house where Lys got to play with MORE cousins and I was able to do my first "official" photo session of some of THE cutest boys on the planet (just wait until you see them, those boys are darling!) Thursday I scrapbooked the afternoon away with my cousin Angee, and she brought her sweet Karlita, so Alyssa got to play with ANOTHER cousin. Then that night I ended going up and scrapbooking with my aunt Tam! Friday we had family pics taken by none other than the fabulous Kimmie Sue, can't wait to see them! Then I went for a little craft session with my cousins Kelly and Emi, aunt Jan, and Kelly's girls, Elle and Evve. So Alyssa got to play with, yep, that's right, MORE COUSINS!!! Does is get any better than cousins? I think not. See, stellar week for Cassie. What could be better than spending a week eating glorious food, chillin' with your cousins, scrapbooking, and working on a new project? I just don't even know.

Cousins Make the Cutest Little Friends

Hey Alyssa! Where's your nose?

What could possibly be more fun that jumping on your bed with a beach ball?

Must Express Gratitude and Admiration...

...for this wonderful family. (hope you don't mind the hijacking of the photo Kimmie) Let me tell you a little bit about them. In a nutshell, a very small nutshell, we met them in our new education adoption classes a few years ago. Not only are they dear friends of ours, but Flavio is now our realtor, Kim is our photographer, and their kids? Well, they are both darling and so loved by our Alyssa. I must tell you briefly about the compassion, generosity and selflessness of this wonderful couple. They have been waiting to welcome another child into their home through adoption, and are also just embarking on new journey to them of foster care. Doing everything in their power to grow their family and find their next little one. Even though they are wanting a child for themselves, they are so willing to help others in finding their babies too. Kim has been posting, on her blog, about friends and acquaintances of hers that are also hoping to adopt, linking anyone who comes across her website to their adoption profiles, websites and blogs. She has a genuine desire, not only to help those she knows to find their baby, but to give possible birth mothers a bigger glimpse into world of adoption by sharing the stories of so many. So many people visit her blog daily. So many people now have access to these adoptive couples that otherwise wouldn't have. Without being asked, this amazing woman has become an incredible advocate for all of us. Thank you Kim. You're an amazing woman and I'm grateful to call you my friend. To learn more about this amazing family, click here, here, and here.

My Husband is Awesome

While I was at work tonight, which I will tell you was hellacious, Tim did the dishes AND cleaned out the refrigerator. Seriously? That's awesome. Seeing the fridge totally made my night. Thanks babe!

Note to Self

When retrieving Pepsi out of the freezer (which if you put in for 20 minutes turns it THE perfect temperature for your drinking pleasure) Don't tap it on the ice that is stuck together to try to break it apart. It most likely will result in the ice puncturing the can, thus spraying a stream of this delectable beverage directly into ones eye. When trying to redirect the vicious stream, it will inevitably spray the entire kitchen, including the two year old who just happens to be an innocent bystander playing in the cupboard, covering the counters, floor and your brand new, way super cute shirt in the lovely brown color which is Pepsi. While I once thought that any way of taking this liquid into ones body would surely be bliss, I have now found that it is only tasty and delicious when enjoyed by mouth.

The Dude I Live With

I got tagged by Danielle. This was fun! If you feel the desire to discuss the dudes you all live with, please do.
What's his name? Timothy Douglas
How long have you been together? We just celebrated our 6th anniversary last November.
How long did you date? We started dating in June, got engaged in August and married in November.
How old is he? 28
Who eats more? Tim, definitely Tim.
Who said 'I love you' first? Hmm, I'm sure it was him.
Who is taller? Timeroo
Who sings better? Tim. He has an AMAZING tenor voice. I love, love, love it!
Who is smarter? In what area? Probably me. I'm pretty smart.
Who does the laundry? I think I've seen Tim work the washing machine twice since we've been married. He'll disagree, but I'm right.
Who does the dishes? Ooh, Tim used the ONLY one that did them, 6 years ago. And I did laundry. Somehow I have gotten the responsibility of both now...
Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Alyssa. The left side? Alyssa. The middle? Alyssa. Tim and I rotating the couch right now.
Who pays the bills? automatic bill pay
Who mows the lawn? Wait, mow the lawn? Isn't the city supposed to take care of that?
Who cooks dinner? Tim, my food sucks.
Who drives when you are together? That depends. Usually Tim, but if I want to add one more stop to our errands, and I know he won't want to go, I hop in the driver's seat so he doesn't have a choice :)
Who is more stubborn? I'd like to say Tim, but that's just because I'm stubborn. We're pretty equal
Who kissed who first? He kissed me. BEFORE he took me on a date. He says he had to "test my kissing abilities because why waste your time dating someone who is a bad kisser?" I kissed back because I thought he was hot.
Who asked who out first? After I passed his lip lock test, he asked me out.
Who proposed? Tim would say I did after 2 weeks. So not true. He got down on one knee on August 4, 2001.
Who is more sensitive? Probably me. I definitely cry more.
Who has more friends?Hmm, we're kind of friends with each other's friends... so I guess that makes it the same?
Who has more siblings? Tim has 6, I have 3
Who wears the pants in the family? I won't answer that.

All About Alyssa

A post that is long over due has now arrived. I noticed recently that there isn't a whole lot (or anything at all) on here about how the little girl that reigns over our house came to be. Which is sad to me for a couple reasons. #1 - Alyssa is my life! HOW can I NOT have her story on here? She is the reason, both figuratively AND literally, that I get up in the morning. She keeps me going, (and going, and going, and going, and going, and going.) She puts smiles on my face all day, every day. Her story MUST be told! #2 - There needs to be more talk about adoption in this world. Over the past few months I've been lurking, if you will, around other blogs of people who have adopted, who are waiting to adopt, and who are maybe thinking of adopting. These people talk about it all. the. time. As they should! As I should! So I'm going to. And finally #3 - Seriously? Who wouldn't want to hear more about Alyssa? She's my favorite subject. And my guess is, if you read my blog, you probably don't mind reading about her either, being that she's all over it. :)

So. Picking up from this point in my life, here's where Alyssa comes in to play.

Tim and I had only been married about four months when we decided it would be "ok" if we were to become pregnant. By the time the baby came along he would have graduated from USU, we would be living in Salt Lake close to our family and he would hopefully have a decent job, what with a bachelor's degree and all. (Which didn't end up meaning jack the summer after 9-11 by the way.) So we decided, hey, let's see what happens.

Well, nothing happened. For about two years, nothing. happened. When we were told that the only way we would be able to "have" a child would be through In Vitro Fertilization, we were pretty upset, to say the least. But it wasn't long afterwards that the idea of adoption came to us.

I remember, quite vividly actually, sitting at the piano, (Jon Schmidt book in front of me, of course) when the thought came. It was very clear, almost as if someone were talking to me. We needed to adopt our baby. We were going to give a very special baby something they wouldn't otherwise have. Tim and I talked about it and decided to go for it, we never looked back.

With every step we took, we felt the Spirit of the Lord confirm to us that we were doing the right thing. From the very first, smallest step of calling the agency to get the paperwork sent to us, to the day Alyssa was sealed to us in the temple, we knew we were doing what the Lord wanted us to do.

So, we got the paperwork. The huge stack of grueling paperwork. We had friends write us letters of recommendation. We did our interviews, took our classes, joined the Families Supporting Adoption (FSA) board, got our background checks, filled out more paperwork, whew! We started the process in February of 2004 and were approved and waiting by September 2004.

Then came Thanksgiving-ish time. My wonderful cousin, Kelly, who was ALWAYS trying to find me a baby, heard of 2 at a different agency that needed homes. She gave us the number and we called. One of them was a two month old, african-american baby girl, who. was. so. adorable! Long-story-short here, we couldn't afford her. I was devastated, so upset.

Two days later the Bishop called me into his office and called me to be the Primary President. After I said, and I quote "HOLY CRAP", and Tim told me I couldn't say that to the Bishop, I realized that the Lord was answering my prayers, a million times over! I had been praying for 1 child, he blessed me with the company of about 250. As overwhelming as that assignment was going to be, I was so grateful to be able to have some children to love and care for, in a Primary President-ish sort of way.

Nearly one year later...

If you'll recall, Tim and I were on the FSA board. We were asked to attend the new education classes for the new couples starting the adoption process. The ONE we made it to (out of six, we were slackers) was the big one. We had just sat down when our case worker asked us to follow her to her office. We thought we were in trouble because we hadn't updated out financial statement that was supposed to be done yearly, and we had just passed the year mark. That SO wasn't the case!

We sat down and she told us that a birth mother had our file. Which wasn't a huge deal to us because someone always "had our file" they just always returned it when they were finished! She continued by saying that this particular birth mother had chosen us to be the parents for her baby. Words can not express the emotion that overcame us in that room. She told us Andrea (Alyssa's birth mom) was having a girl, that she had been receiving her prenatal care and that she and the baby were healthy and everything was looking good. (This was on a Thursday night, by the way.) Then she told us that Andrea was due on Monday. :) (HELLO!!!) We would meet Andrea the next day. Oh the emotions. We were excited, terrified, excited, overwhelmed, excited. (Ooh, anther side note, all our adoption friends were there at the class. They're no dummies, they knew what was going on.) We called our families, bawling our eyes out and shared the news with them. Then we left the agency and bought a car seat.

On to Friday, we'll skip the rest of Thursday night, we obviously didn't sleep!

First thing Friday morning I quit my job. Couldn't focus worth anything so I left early.

That afternoon at 3:00pm we met Andrea. When she came into the room I had to try to keep myself from jumping off the couch to run over and hug her. We spent over 2 hours with her, talking, laughing, crying, just getting to know as much about her as we could. Before we were through, she invited us to be in the delivery room when the baby was born. She wanted us to be with the baby from the very first breath she took.

That weekend we had planned to go to Park City for our anniversary. (Oh, did I mention the due date was our 4th anniversary? Because it sure was. Happy Anniversary to us! Can you think of anything better? I can't.) We only stayed one night, and only shopped at The Children's Place. Then we came home, bought paint and went to town on the nursery. Sunday we went to church, but because word had gotten out that a baby was coming, we ditched the last two meetings. And we ditched fast!

Then came November 7. We got a call at about 8:00 in the morning to get to the hospital. When we got there, Andrea was dilated to a 3. We had NO IDEA what that meant. We found out it meant that instead of being born right away, it would be more like 3:10-3:15 in the afternoon. We spent the morning chatting with Andrea and her mom. It was fun to hear stories about Andrea when she was younger and learn more about her. We are so glad we had that time to get to know her a little better. We talked about different names, being that we only had 4 days to come up with something. Andrea and her mom had mentioned liking the name Joy, and I have no idea what sparked the name Alyssa with us, but Alyssa Joy was the perfect name for the sweet girl that was well on her way.

When it was time for little Alyssa to make her debut, Andrea again asked us to stay. During the process, if you will, Andrea was LAUGHING! She was giving birth, experiencing what had to excruciating amounts of pain because her epidural only numbed half of her body, and LAUGHING! She was very entertained by the look on our faces. We were so amazed at this little miracle, and so unbelievably baffled that we were even there to experience it that we were in total awe. And apparently our faces showed that. :)

Then we saw her. First her hair, that was standing straight up about an inch all over her tiny little head. Then her little scrunched up face, totally bugged that it was so bright. And just like that, here she was. All 5 pounds, 10 ounces and 17 inches of her. She was beautiful and I was in love. The doctor asked Andrea who she wanted to cut the umbilical cord. She pointed to Tim and said "He's the papa."

They put her on the table to clean her up and from the get go she was squirming to get away. After Andrea had held her for just a few minutes, she handed her to me to give her her first bottle. As soon has I took Alyssa, she opened her eyes, looked right at me and gave me a little "hi mom" glance. Did I say I was in love? I was IN. LOVE.
After she downed her bottle like she wasn't going to be able to ever have that fabulous formula again, Tim and I left to get Andrea some lunch (a big bacon classic from wendy's, yum!) and give her some time with Alyssa before her visitor's arrived.

When we got back to the hospital, we were able to meet more of Andrea's family, hear more funny stories about her childhood AND personality, which were great. We didn't stay for long, we wanted them to be able to spend time with Alyssa and didn't want her to feel like we were crowding her. When we left that night, Tim still hadn't had the chance to hold Alyssa. Andrea or her mom would always hand her to me, then someone else would ask to be "next" in the game of pass the baby. Tim was SO patient, letting everyone else take their time with her. Especially me!

On Tuesday when we went back, we both knew we wouldn't stay for long, again wanting to spend time there, but not wanting to step on any toes either. Tim finally had the opportunity to hold his little girl for the first time. It was the most tender, sweetest thing I had ever seen. I could tell he was just as in love with her as I was.
We left the hospital that night, planning on meeting Andrea at the agency the following day for placement at 3:00 in the afternoon.

Wednesday was the longest day of my life. 3:00 turned to 4, then to 5:30 then to 6:30. 6:30 it was. We were on our way to the agency when our cell phone rang. It was our case worker. Before I answered it I was thinking "better stop for dinner, it's probably going to be 8:00 now." But it was worse than that. Andrea was already at the agency, preparing to sign the adoption papers when they got a phone call that her grandmother had passed away. Everything stopped. Our hearts broke for her. She was placing her baby and lost her grandma in the same day. Nobody deserves that.

At that point, no one really knew what was going to happen next. The case workers wanted to make sure that Andrea was ok to sign, not only for her sake, obviously, but for ours too. They didn't want there to be any issues in the future with her signing under duress. So we continued on to the agency as we were instructed, not really knowing if Alyssa would be coming home with us that night or not.

After waiting about 45 minutes at the agency our worker came out and told us that Andrea, with her mom and sister there, had decided to carry on with their plan of placing Alyssa and taking care of her that night, then take care of their grandmother when they got home. A huge relief for us, devastating for them.

We went into the placement room, Andrea and her family joined us with Alyssa. We were there for three hours. Talking, taking pictures, getting some much appreciated parenting advice, and saying good-bye. When it came time for Andrea to place Alyssa with us, it was heart wrenching. We had waited so long for this day to come and were feeling so blessed that it finally had. Yet for us to have this new life come to us, she had to leave her birth mother. Andrea handed Alyssa to me and we just hugged each other for the longest time. Tim wrapped his arms around the three of us and we just stood there, no one wanting to let go. Then Andrea kissed Alyssa on her forehead, told her not to give us too much trouble, turned, and left the room without looking back at us.

Andrea is the single most incredible woman I have known. So strong. The love and gratitude we have for her... there aren't words... We are forever indebted to her selflessness and immense amounts of love that she has for Alyssa.

During this little roller coaster of an evening we had that night, our poor families were on pins and needles at home. We had given them the update on Andrea's grandma passing, but didn't have another chance to call until placement was over and we were on our way home, nearly 4 hours! So we made 2 calls. One to my parents and one to Tim's. They were then assigned to call everyone else and tell them all is well and we were bringing home baby!

We got home and my family was there waiting for us. They broke in. Why not? Who wasn't so anxious to see Alyssa? Lys got to meet her only cousin on my side. "Little" Evan, who was HUMONGO next to her.
The next 2 weeks were a whirlwind of baby showers and visitors. SIX showers in TWO weeks! And SO many VERY generous people in my family and in my freaking awesome ward. Neighbors who brought over bags of clothes, bottles, diapers, playpens, porta-cribs, swings, bouncy seats, saucers. Some to keep and some to use until we got our own. So grateful for everyones generosity.

We had to wait 6 months to finalize Alyssa's adoption with the courts.
Then we were able to bless her and be sealed in the Jordan River Temple as an Eternal Family. That was the next best day to when we got to bring her home. We get to keep her forever.
And here we are now.
Two, very short years later.
Excited and ready for whatever lies ahead.
And still just as in love with this precious little face as the first moment I saw it.

I love you Alyssa Joy. I can't imagine my life without you in it.

Just Go to Bed

So just when I open my big old mouth to my sister-in-law about how much better Alyssa is doing going to bed lately, this is what happens. Mind you, we've had our bath, read our bed time stories and are snuggled up with our sippie cup of milk. Alyssa: Gamma Yawana? Me: No, we're not going to Grandma LaWana's tonight. Alyssa: Nicki? Me: No, we're not going to Nicki's. Alyssa: Edan! Me: We're not going to Evan's either. Alyssa: Misty? Me: No, go to sleep Alyssa. How fitting that she got this book for her birthday.

PS, we're still not asleep, it's 11:00 and I've been at it since 8:30. I'm giving up for the night. Who needs sleep right?

A Near Perfect Christmas

This Christmas has been one for the books. It was so close to perfect, I honestly couldn't have asked it to be any better. My shopping was done, D-O-N-E, DONE 2 weeks before the blessed day. Because of Voices, I had been listening to and singing Christmas songs since September and I was STILL loving hearing it all over the place. We were all sick the week BEFORE Christmas so no sickies ON Christmas. It was awesome, freaking awesome.

Our family has somewhat of an insane way of celebrating. On Christmas Eve we go to my dad's family party first, have dinner, Santa comes and we exchange gifts with everyone. Then we head over to my mom's family, where we have dinner, Santa comes and we open the "Santa" present. Then on Christmas morning, after the craziness at home, we go to my parents house, exchange gifts with my brother and sisters families. Then we head back to my grandma's (mom's mom) and exchange the rest of our gifts with that family and have lunch. Then we try our hardest to swing by dad's family again for some snacks and a lovely visit before we're finally off to Tim's family, where we exchange gifts with mom and dad, have dinner and play games. WHEW! Then as this year would have it, 2 days later we were back at Tim's family's house for the other party where the nieces and nephews exchange and the brothers/sisters exchange, we eat dinner again, play more games and have a little program. So basically, we drive a lot, eat a lot, open a lot of presents, drive some more, eat some more and the whole things starts all over again. It's joyful madness I tell you!

I was so curious about how Alyssa would do with Santa this year. Last year she freaked! This year, Santa called her name, she hopped off my lap and went cruisin' on over to him. As soon as he put his hands down to pick her up, she spun around on her little heel and ran right back to me. Not interested in the man in red, OR the present he had for her!
 I thought we would get at least one more year where Alyssa would sleep in a little. Nope, that little thing was up at 7:30! I didn't mind, though. I was SO excited for her Christmas, to see her excitement when she would actually get to open the presents that we'd been telling her not to touch for the last month. And this is what she did.
She laid on the kitchen floor for 10 minutes and wouldn't even go in the living room!
When she finally made it to her stack-o-treasures, oh the excitement. She was hilarious. Everything she opened was "Oh, mommy! Look!"
SO, very fun, very exciting Christmas. Sounds perfect right? So close! It was so close to perfection! We of COURSE had to have one minor tragedy. Christmas Eve Alyssa was running down the hall at my Grandma's (tile floor, of course) slipped and wiped out. Smacked her poor little head on the corner of the base board, in just the right spot that it cut her little head open. And just hard enough to knock the casing of the door bell off the wall. After a few moments of screaming we were able to get a good look at it. Luckily for us, my good cuz Emi is a nurse and she happened to bring her doctor friend (a cardiologist, I believe, maybe like a Dr. Burke?) The medical professionals checked her little head and said she wouldn't need stitches. Thank goodness!
Thank you Emi. Nurse and future model for Blue Moon.

I hope everyone had as wonderful a holiday season as we did. Now if anyone is STILL reading this forever long post, you can click here for some of my favorite Christmas shots.
XOXO!

Voices

As mentioned last year, I've been participating in a women's vocal group called Voices. It has been one of the few highlights over last few months... A good friend of mine, Amy, called me at the end of the summer. She told me she had had this feeling to call me, and asked if I happened to sing. She told me about Voices. Practice every Tuesday morning, some Thursday mornings and a few rehearsals on some evenings, costumes, choreography and 17 rehearsals over a 2 week period in December, in a nutshell. As so many people who know me know, my musical abilities tend to stick close to the piano. I've never had much confidence in my singing abilities, probably because good old Granny says our family can't carry a tune in a bucket. But, I decided, sure, why not? We'd be performing during the Christmas season at different retirement communities, rehabilitation centers, Temple Square, and Alzheimer's centers. At first I thought how this would help me to feel the Christmas spirit. A feeling that I hadn't felt during the holidays for a long time because we've been so caught up in the hustle and bustle of the season. I was nervous, but so excited. Then the group turned into so much more. Somewhere around October I found myself in a not-so-happy place. I needed to be surrounded by strong and faithful women in the gospel. The women in Voices were just what I needed. They didn't know anything that was going on in my life. That I was struggling, unhappy, stressed out of my ever loving mind. Yet I found support and love from them. They unknowingly lifted me up and helped me through my trial. The season progressed and we started our performances. I cried at nearly everyone of them. Feeling the spirit and knowing that we were bringing Christmas joy to others. It was amazing. I realized the hand of the Lord in my life. I know He prompted Amy to call me. He knew what I would need, long before I needed it and He used one of His faithful daughters to bless my life. I am so grateful that He knows me. He knows what I need to progress. I am grateful to have found my testimony again and that I am able to strengthen it and continue to grow in the gospel.

Good-bye 2007...

And good riddance. Welcoming 2008 with open arms and lots of love.