FOUR A.M. and I'm doing WHAT!?!

How October 16th went for me. It's 4am. Alyssa wakes up and wants hot milk. Not an uncommon occurrence at our house. Whatev. I get up, I go to the kitchen. I toss some milk in the microwave and glance over at my roast that I started in the crock pot last night. Not pleased with what I see, I retrieve the milk from the microwave, take it back to my room for Alyssa (sure she's almost 3 and still sleeping with us, again, whatev) I give it to her, kiss her and tell her I'll be right back in to snuggle. Back to the kitchen I go. At 4am. FOUR A.M. The roast, which was frozen solid at 9:00 the night before has cooked completely and is in the process of becoming some sort of cow something jerky. My "plan" for this roast was to follow this fantastic recipe that my friend gave me for BBQ beef. The "plan" is to take a frozen solid hunk of meat, toss it in the crock pot and let it cook on low over night. Sometime during the next day, pull it apart, dump an amazingly simple sauce over the top and let it simmer all together until dinner time. My friend does this often. Rumor has it that a lot of people cook roasts like this. Not at my house. Not in my POS crockpot. Now I'm no chef. I hate cooking. I don't know the rules of how long you can leave a chunk of beef in a crock pot to get cold and all fungus-ish. The thought of leaving it out until I woke up at a normal hour kind of sicks me out. I don't think if I put it in the fridge that I'll be able to pull it apart like I'm supposed to. Crap, I have to pull this thing apart now. AT FOUR A.M.! I pull it, I dump the sauce on it, I go back to bed. Alyssa, hot milk in tummy should be sleeping by now... Ya. Right. Alyssa: Mommy, what doin? Me: Going to sleep. Alyssa: You cook mommy? Me: Ya. Close your eyes sweet baby. Alyssa: Ok. She then proceeds to stand on her head and start singing songs. At this point I decide to be a good wife and take her to her own bed so Tim can get some sleep. We snuggle in to her bed and things are quiet for a moment... Alyssa: Mommy, I yuv you too. Me: I love you too, sweet girl, go to sleep. Alyssa: Ok. I roll over so my back is facing her so she'll hopefully quit talking and go to sleep. Things are quiet again... but a mysterious kind of quiet. No slow steady breathing, no snoring... I roll over to check things out and what do I find? Alyssa playing with her shadow on the wall. Waving, scrunching her fingers, making her hands go big and small, making antlers on her head. I roll back over in total denial. A few minutes later I hear her climbing on the top of her bed, scooting across the back and sliding down the side. Alyssa: Weeeeee!!! Dat's a fun slide mommy! Me: Crap, you're not going back to sleep are you? Alyssa: Let's play!