Working Things Out

There has been quite a bit on my mind lately that I've wanted to blog about. It's just been working them out in my little brain that's keeping them from appearing here.

I have a cousin getting married on Friday. I'm SO excited for her. Remember this fabulous couple? They were kind enough to let my try my hand at their engagement pictures, and through a series of events have now asked me to photograph their wedding. I am both excited and terrified. Knowing me, I'll do something fantastic like delete the card before I upload it. I've been advised not to do that. :)

Then there is my little Alyssa bug. We had the opportunity to spend some time with her birth family a couple weekends ago. My thoughts on this are still so jumbled I may not be able to make any sense of them, so bare with me.

It was SO good to be able to see them and spend time with them. Especially her birth mom, Andrea. She called me at the beginning of April to tell me they were moving out of state for her husbands job. Immediately, my heart sank. I didn't want her to be so far away. Knowing that she lived in the same city as we do... it was good to know she was close, even though we didn't see each other often.

We decided to meet at Boondocks and spend Saturday evening together. As the night came to a close, I started to feel like we hadn't had enough time. I decided to be selfish and see if they wanted to get together on Sunday, too. Both Andrea and her mom thought that would be a great idea and planned a bbq at Andrea's for the next night.

Sunday was wonderful. Alyssa met cousins she's never met. An aunt that hadn't seen her since she was placed with us was able to get reacquainted with her. Her sister was careful to "protect" her, and kept caller her "sister". So touching. We got to hear just a little bit more about what Andrea went through the days following placement. Again, as the night came to a close, I still felt like I hadn't had enough time.

Wednesday I dropped off a cd of Alyssa pics to Andrea. This was "supposed" to be our good-bye time. When we arrived I noticed they still had a lot of packing to do, so I offered to come back that night to help them get things finished up. They were happy to take me up on my offer, and I was happy to have more time with them.

That night, as I was packing up boxes of shoes, the girl has some fabulous shoes, I was able to have some insightful conversations with Andrea. Oh how I love this girl. She has got it together. She is level headed... kind... caring... sensible... grateful... selfless... compassionate... loving. We talked about Tesa and Alyssa. Such similarities these sisters have for not growing up in the same home. We talked about Andrea's feelings during and after placement, some of the struggles she had, and some of the joys. We spoke about her new husband, who is so sweet and good to her. Tim and I both, are so grateful to him for taking such wonderful care of Andrea. She deserves it more than anyone. We talked until 1:30 in the morning. I am so grateful for that time I had with her. To get to really know her. So many questions were answered, so many feelings shared.

Thursday Tim helped them load up their moving van and we said good-bye. I never thought you could miss someone so much that you didn't spend a whole lot of time with. The day after they left, Tim and I talked about how strange it felt, just knowing they were gone. I've been kicking myself for not putting my insecurities aside and taking the initiative to see them more than we did. We were kind of putting the ball in their court, they were putting it in ours. Fortunately for us, they will be back visiting often. Hopefully we will be able to see them soon.

I have so much love for Andrea and her family. Love, gratitude and admiration for all of them. Without them, we wouldn't be the three of us, and I am forever grateful for that.