It's Coming...

It's coming. This week. It's coming. Hopefully tomorrow, but maybe not until Thursday, but it is coming. And it is coming this week. Be excited, be very excited.

Number 2 game of Tag

Tag, tag, tag. Ok, 6 things about me. Ready? I talk to myself, sometimes to the point that I make myself laugh out loud. Not about anything in particular, mostly just creating scenarios in my head. Then when I explain my "logic" to Tim, he says, "wow" really slow, like I'm losing my mind or something. I HATE putting lights on the Christmas tree. I was absolutely thrilled last year when we bought an already lit up tree! I enjoy watching people. (It plays into the scenarios in my head.) I just read a book, willingly, for the first time in 15 years. The other ones I was forced to read through out jr high and high school I could probably count on one hand. I throw away food on the day stamped as the expiration date. Even if it's sour cream, yogurt, buttermilk. All that stuff that Tim says "it has so much preservatives in it... it's already sour, it can't go bad" Whatever, if someone cared enough to stamp that little date, I will care enough to dispose of it after said date has passed. Now... Renee, Sam, Becky and Leslie. Your it!

Oh the glorious game of TAG!

Well, I've been tagged. Here's a brief history of my life.

What was I doing 10 years ago? Hmm.. I was 16 and a junior in highschool. I was in drivers ed, but spent more time getting donuts and pepsi from the snack bar than I did in the simulator. Which probably accounts for my mad driving skills. It was the end of my second season of high school soccer, I was the goalie, my mom always threatened my coach "If she injures her hands... I've invested way too much money for broken fingers!" Piano, what can I say? I was also still taking piano lessons, accompanying concert choir. No fingers were ever injured during soccer. It was that crazy church basketball that I always managed to jam them up. What was I doing 5 years ago? Tim and I had just celebrated our first anniversary in Park City. It was the weekend of death, by the way. We got lost trying to go to dinner, wound up on some dark road with no lights, that I swear was going to lead us off some cliff. Plus it was stormy, that didn't help much in the vision department. What was I doing 1 year ago? Huh, beginning the crappiest year of our lives together. Tim had just lost his job at the bank and we started the lovely roller coaster ride that we're on now, wanting so desperately to get off. On a happier note, we were also celebrating Alyssa's first birthday. Love that little girt. She keeps me going. What was I doing yesterday? Hee, hee. My vocal group, Voices, had our first performance of the year and it was AWEFUL!!! Oh my, we made some very comical mistakes. We went to Kerri's house to watch and critique the video after it was over. From forgetting lyrics to screwing up the choreography, not knowing which song was next or where we were supposed to be sitting or standing. COMICAL I tell you! Let's just say I'm glad we were at an Alzheimer's center. That's bad to say and so is this, but at least they won't remember right? 5 snacks I enjoy: Pepsi, Breyer's natural vanilla ice cream with Hershey's chocolate syrup and peanuts, Pepsi, snicker doodles, Pepsi 5 things I would do with a million dollars: Hmm... pay off my crappy debt, start some kind of adoption fund, start some kind of IVF fund, take care of Alyssa's college education, and put the rest away for a rainy day 5 places I would run away to: Cocoa Beach, Disney Land, My grandparents houses, my sisters places of residence, and a desert island. 5 TV show I like: Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Scrubs, The Office, 24 - Mmm Jack Baby 5 things I HATE doing: Cleaning the shower, throwing up, washing dishes by hand, touching slimy things, going to the dump 5 biggest joys of the moment: Alyssa, Tim, The Christmas Season, music... ok fine, and Mike.

All righty then. I tag Mikey, Melanie, Kaarina and Angela. Let's hear the juice people!

Mmmmm...

What's my favorite part of Thanksgiving? The leftover turkey sandwiches with chocolate milk. It's heavenly.

Alma 7:23-25

23 And now I would that ye should be humble, and submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive. 24 And see that ye have faith, hope, and charity, and then ye will always abound in good works. 25 And may the Lord bless you.....

I learned way back in seminary that if you want to strengthen your testimony you need to share it with others. Mine is hiding from me. Somewhere deep inside, trying to find its way out. I don't need to strengthen my testimony, I need to find it again. I've been ready to give up, give up on everything these past few months. I just haven't cared anymore. It seems like regardless of how hard I try to live my life the way I've always been taught, the way the Lord wants me to live, the consequences of other peoples choices land on me. I've been weakened through trials that are seeming to last forever and Satan is taking full advantage of it. I'm being tempted with things that have seemed completely asinine to me in the past, but now are looking like the way to go. I'm struggling to do the things I'm supposed to do, the things that have always come easy to me, I simply haven't cared about them. I've been blocking things out, bottling up emotions, and I've been angry. I've lost any patience I thought I had, and I've been stubborn. I've questioned the very basics of my testimony. Do I believe in the gospel? Do I know the Book of Mormon is true? Do I believe that Joseph Smith was a true prophet? Do I believe that President Hinkley guides our church today and is a living prophet? Do I know that the Savior lives? Yes. I do. The Lord loves me. He knows my potential, far greater than I do. He knows me and He knows when I can take on more when I'm ready to say I've had enough. My Heavenly Father wants me to grow and learn. He has a work here for me to do. I need to trust in Him. Rely on Him. Show my gratitude and love for Him. I know I'm not alone. When I feel I have no one who understands, He will always be there. The Savior knows everything I feel because He's felt it. He suffered for me. He died for me. He did it so I could return to live with my Father in Heaven and have MY eternal family. So I could be with my husband and sweet baby for eternity. I need to be humble, teachable, patient. I need to rely on the Lord to help me get my life back. I need to follow His teachings and commandments to receive the blessings He has promised.

A Brief Preview

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Look Who's Two!

From this

To this

In two short little years.

As you can tell from the pictures, we had an Elmo party for Alyssa. She sings "Wa wa wa, Emmo's Word." Funny little girl. Being that we had TWO parties for her, I was lucky enough to make TWO Elmo cakes. She enjoyed the step by step process of each one. I'm surprised they made it to the parties. I must have known the little sweetie was going to be sick on her actual birthday. We had planned one of her parties for the night before. She got to stand on great-grandma's table to open her presents and blow out her candles. Of course with standing on the tables comes jumping off the tables on to G-ma Sue.
We had so much fun celebrating with our sweet girl. Lots of thinking over the last couple weeks. So grateful for her. So blessed to have her in our lives. I love you Alyssa Joy.