It Happened...

... yesterday, it happened. I've not been looking forward to this day. In fact I've been quite pleased that we've gone 2 1/2 years WITHOUT this happening. Let's face it. My world, as I know it, will never be the same. No more hiding things. No more hiding me. No more hiding her. No more out of sight, out of mind. It's all over. All because not only can Alyssa finally reach the door knob, but she can turn it. Which means she can open doors. Her door. The bathroom door. The scrapbook room door. The basement door. All of them. I'm toast.

Day Out with Thomas

Last Friday we spent the day with Thomas (the train, the tank engine, that blue train, whatever you want to call him.) The kids LOVED it and had a total blast.

First things first, tattoos of course. Mae and I got Rosie. Lys wanted nothing to do with it.

Then we found the petting "zoo" I wondered if Lys would actually get down to pet the horses. She sure did. They were just her size!Off to ride Thomas.


Four kids, three and under. Not the best for photo ops, but we didn't do too bad.

I about peed my pants laughing at this conductor. He sat right down and put the moves on my g-ma. Loved it!

There were four stations for them to go to, do some sort of activity and have their map stamped. Alyssa's favorite was the imagination station. They had different Thomas tables set up to play with, but that's not what she wanted to do. She found, in the back corner, the coloring table, which just so happened to have some Thomas stamps and paper. She scrap booked some Thomas. That's my girl!

They had a mini maze set up for the kiddos. They LOVED it. Mae would have played there all day had we let her.

By the way, these three little girlies all wear the same size clothes. Alyssa, age 2 1/2 years, Karlee 11 months, and Mae 20 months. However, pretty soon Alyssa will be able to take hand-me-downs from Karlee :)

Then there were the balloon animals. Alyssa had her choice of a kitty, elephant or a monkey that was HOLDING A BANANA (how CUTE is that!?!?!) But what did she choose?

A snake. Yup, my little princess girl wanted the snake. And I'll tell ya, she loves that thing. The first thing she did with it was chase Evan and make it eat Karlee's flower hat. She cracks me up with that imagination of hers.

Of course we had to have our picture taken with Thomas. Grandma bought all the kids their little conductor hats, bandannas and train whistles. All in all, it was a great day.

Update #2

It's been a crazy couple months, but it is definitely time for a kidney update. I have to thank everyone, again, for thinking of us, praying for us and helping us to spread the word to find Tim a kidney. It totally paid off. We've had three people go in and have blood drawn. Two were blood and tissue matches and decided to continue on through the grueling testing process. After chest x-rays, physicals, kidney tests, social workers, surgeon consultations and who knows what else, they've both been given the "ok to donate". They still have to have a CT scan, but assuming all is well there, we have 2 possible donors for Tim. What a tremendous blessing this is for our family. How grateful we are to these people for being so willing to make such a huge sacrifice on our behalf, and to their spouses and families for supporting their decision. Tim is still feeling pretty good. His next appointment is supposed to be in June, but he's had a few down days. He's going to call his doctor Tuesday and may end up going this week to have some labs run to check everything out. If everything continues to run as smoothly as it has over the last 2 months, we'll be able to get his surgery scheduled and the transplant done without having to do dialysis. Do you know how good that would be? So freakin' good!

My Glorious Day

Nothing says it better or more accurately than Cassiepalooza. Today was great, I'd like to say perfect. How did this perfect day come about? Well I'll tell you. About 4 weeks ago I was stressed to the max. So much shiz going on that was crappy, I was not happy and not in my happy place. So what did my most incredible husband do? He offered to take a Saturday off work, stay home with Alyssa and let me have a day to do what. ever. I. wanted. to. I took him up on it so flippin' fast. Well that day was today. It started out at 9:00am. Tammy and I started out shopping at Old Navy, then Roberts, then Barnes and Noble and Famous Footwear. After getting the most AMAZING deal ($5 tees at Old Navy people, 5 dollars) shopping, we headed home to do what? SCRAPBOOK!!! ALL DAY!!! WHAT COULD BE BETTER!?!?! We scrapped until about 1:30, hit up Rumbi's for lunch then we came home and scrapped some more. All the while enjoying Enchanted and Grey's Anatomy. (Mmm... McDreamy... yum!) We let our creative juices flow until 9:00 when we hit up the Taco Bell to bring a close to our fabulous marathon. So how did Tim do with Lys while I was gone all day? SO GOOD! He took her out to his parents, she had a nap and he had her in bed by the time I got home. The best part about this? HE DID THE DISHES AND PUT AWAY LAUNDRY!!!! Seriously, husband of the freaking year. I love you honey! So to finish off my perfect day, I'm going to go snuggle up to my most wonderful husband and watch a movie. Seriously, such a good day today. (Cassiepalooza was sponsored by Tim and hosted by Tammy. Alyssa is credited with most excellent behavior, which without the day may not have turned out so wonderfully)

Lazy Me

I'm lazy today. Well, this week. Well if I'm being honest, for like 2 or 3 weeks or even more. I've lost track. It's 1:15 in the afternoon and I have yet to take a shower and get dressed for the day. Not because I've been crazy busy cleaning, though there is MUCH to clean, but because I'm being lazy. And really, I've enjoyed it for the most part. I've enjoyed basking in sunlight of my living room, lounging on my couch with a scrapbook catalog, followed by dozing in and out of little naps with Lys. HOWEVER, this must come to an end. There are dishes to be done. A little girls room to be organized. A scrapbook room that needs some desperate attention, and not the good kind. I have a quilt to finish. I have projects to do. And what am I doing? Blogging about random nothingness and admitting to the world that I am, indeed, sitting around on my lazy arse, surrounded by tasks calling out to me to be completed and doing nothing about them. Oh well, it is what it is.

From Mascara to Lollipops

What happens when mom leaves mascara in her purse and it is very quiet in the living room?

By the way, Alyssa is the LAST girl who needs mascara!

All clean, but for a moment.

Yum!

Darn it.

Working Things Out

There has been quite a bit on my mind lately that I've wanted to blog about. It's just been working them out in my little brain that's keeping them from appearing here.

I have a cousin getting married on Friday. I'm SO excited for her. Remember this fabulous couple? They were kind enough to let my try my hand at their engagement pictures, and through a series of events have now asked me to photograph their wedding. I am both excited and terrified. Knowing me, I'll do something fantastic like delete the card before I upload it. I've been advised not to do that. :)

Then there is my little Alyssa bug. We had the opportunity to spend some time with her birth family a couple weekends ago. My thoughts on this are still so jumbled I may not be able to make any sense of them, so bare with me.

It was SO good to be able to see them and spend time with them. Especially her birth mom, Andrea. She called me at the beginning of April to tell me they were moving out of state for her husbands job. Immediately, my heart sank. I didn't want her to be so far away. Knowing that she lived in the same city as we do... it was good to know she was close, even though we didn't see each other often.

We decided to meet at Boondocks and spend Saturday evening together. As the night came to a close, I started to feel like we hadn't had enough time. I decided to be selfish and see if they wanted to get together on Sunday, too. Both Andrea and her mom thought that would be a great idea and planned a bbq at Andrea's for the next night.

Sunday was wonderful. Alyssa met cousins she's never met. An aunt that hadn't seen her since she was placed with us was able to get reacquainted with her. Her sister was careful to "protect" her, and kept caller her "sister". So touching. We got to hear just a little bit more about what Andrea went through the days following placement. Again, as the night came to a close, I still felt like I hadn't had enough time.

Wednesday I dropped off a cd of Alyssa pics to Andrea. This was "supposed" to be our good-bye time. When we arrived I noticed they still had a lot of packing to do, so I offered to come back that night to help them get things finished up. They were happy to take me up on my offer, and I was happy to have more time with them.

That night, as I was packing up boxes of shoes, the girl has some fabulous shoes, I was able to have some insightful conversations with Andrea. Oh how I love this girl. She has got it together. She is level headed... kind... caring... sensible... grateful... selfless... compassionate... loving. We talked about Tesa and Alyssa. Such similarities these sisters have for not growing up in the same home. We talked about Andrea's feelings during and after placement, some of the struggles she had, and some of the joys. We spoke about her new husband, who is so sweet and good to her. Tim and I both, are so grateful to him for taking such wonderful care of Andrea. She deserves it more than anyone. We talked until 1:30 in the morning. I am so grateful for that time I had with her. To get to really know her. So many questions were answered, so many feelings shared.

Thursday Tim helped them load up their moving van and we said good-bye. I never thought you could miss someone so much that you didn't spend a whole lot of time with. The day after they left, Tim and I talked about how strange it felt, just knowing they were gone. I've been kicking myself for not putting my insecurities aside and taking the initiative to see them more than we did. We were kind of putting the ball in their court, they were putting it in ours. Fortunately for us, they will be back visiting often. Hopefully we will be able to see them soon.

I have so much love for Andrea and her family. Love, gratitude and admiration for all of them. Without them, we wouldn't be the three of us, and I am forever grateful for that.