That's My Girl

Bugged

Not sure how I managed to mess up my blog so that every post preceding my "improvement" post clumped all the text in to one gigantic ugly paragraph.

I don't know how to fix it and it's buggin.

Improvement

I used to make New Year's Resolutions every year.  They would last about a week, if that.  So several years ago I gave up on that nonsense.

Last year I didn't exactly set a goal, but I did have a plan in mind for 2009.  Because of how that plan came about, I was upset that it didn't work out.  I had plans and expectations that, to me, were realistic.  But ultimately I wasn't the one in control.   

As I was trying NOT to have a plan for this year, one came up.  One that I can control.  One that other people's decisions and actions will have little or no effect on.

Self Improvement.

And who has more room to improve than me!

I've decided to take one thing at a time and work on it for a month.  January just kind of happened to me.  One day I picked up my scriptures and started reading.  I've read every day since then.  My attitude towards church has changed.  I've been more patient with Alyssa and have been more motivated to get things accomplished. 

As I've thought about February, and what I want to work on, not much has come to mind.  I thought about improving on my Pepsi consumption, and by that I don't mean cutting back.  I mean making sure there are no half empty cans sitting around.  Similarly, not leaving the last bite of chocolate cake on my plate.  There's just no excuse for wasting such deliciousness. 

Regardless of what I decide to work for the next 28 days (Ooh, it should totally be exercising.  Only 28 days to commit to rather than 31.) I'm going to take great satisfaction in knowing that the only person that can hold me back is myself.  The only person that can keep it from happening is me.  The only one I can blame if I fail is me.  I'm taking back control and accepting accountability.

This and That

I have "this." I love this. I've always wanted this.

But... then there's "that." I want that too. But I don't have that.

I tried for a year to get that. Put myself though a lot to have that, and at one point I thought that was within my grasp. I thought I would have this and that. But then that was taken and I was left wondering if I would have the opportunity to have that again.

I put that on the back burner and decided to focus on this. Part of me feels like this will suffer and be neglected if I put much more effort in to that. Shouldn't I be grateful for what I do have? Shouldn't I put my all into this? This is here. This is a gift. This deserves my best.

But what about that? I want this to have that, more than I want that for myself. I feel like this would go well with that. I worry that this could resent me for not doing what I can to get that too.

I fear I may regret not trying again to have that.

I don't want this to get the shaft while I'm trying to have that.

I am eternally grateful for this. Don't really know what I would do with out this.

Le Funk

I'm not sure why, but the weirdest things happen to me. Weird things. Freaky and somewhat gross things. Why? No one knows. I'm just lucky. For example, back in the late fall early winter of 1999-ish I had my first episode of what was soon affectionately named "The Funk" by my loving roommates.

It started out with a sore throat. Being prone to strep, I went to the doc only to have the text come back negative. The next day a new symptom arrived. Visible blisters on my throat. Back to the doc. Doc says its just a crappy sore throat. Each day after that, a new symptom appeared. By then of the week I had blisters on my gums, cheeks and throat, some lovely "coating," if you wil,l on my tongue, my whole body hurt and I felt like crap.

I ended up going home from school, seeing our family doctor who also had no idea what it was. She had me mix up a lovely concoction of kaopectate and benedryl to swish around. Yum! Well that did the trick. After about 2 days the blisters were gone and bits of the "coating" on my tongue had flaked off with each delicious swish.

To this day, I have no idea what it was. I've recounted the story several times and have never heard of anyone else who has experienced this lovely Funk.

Example #2

During the summer of 2005 I had this annoying wart on my elbow. I've had it for years. I'd had it frozen off, burned off, put duct tape on it, smothered it in vinegar, let it breathe - used every home remedy I came across until I read the one that said to rub raw bacon on it then bury the bacon in the back yard. Ya... I just came to realization that the sucker was never going to go away.

I was sharing this with my mom one day and she said "Oh! I have something that will take that right away." Um, ok. Why not? Apparently little brother had a wart on his lip and they got a prescription from a dermatologist for it. It got rid of his in just a few days.

So mom gets her little bottle of magic, paints the stuff on my little friend and tells me to paint a little more on tomorrow. I do as I'm told. The day after that, my elbow started to blister and looked like it had been burned. Then it started to ooze and looked infected so I went to the doctor. They gave me a prescription, drew a circle around the swollen area and told me to come back if it got any bigger.

Well... of course it got bigger. The redness went about 3/4 of the way down my forearm from my elbow, blistering here and there and was starting to swell. Imagine Pop-Eye's forearm. Perhaps I'm being dramatic, but it was big.

I found out the prescription my brother had was a form of liquid poison ivy, which does in fact get rid of warts, but you have to desensitize your skin to it for 2 weeks before actually using it. This somehow slipped mom's mind. Bless her heart, she was just trying to help my deformed elbow!

Back to the doc I go. The diseased appendage had now developed a staff infection. I got a shot in the butt of a heavy duty antibiotic, and a stronger dose to take at home.

BUT WAIT! What happened the next day? While I'm at work, I break out in hives. HIVES!Covering my body from head to toe. Apparently I'm allergic to whatever shot went in to my caboose. I call the doctor AGAIN, tell them what's happening, and get put on hold only to have a frantic nurse get back on the phone telling me to drive directly there and if I stop breathing on the way to go the emergency room. If I stop breathing on the way there... um ok. Don't think I'd be able to drive to a hospital but ok.

More counteracting medication. Arm went back to normal size. Wart is still there. We've become quite fond of eachother.

Example #3

Ever heard of Pityriasis Rosea? Well I haven't, at least until 2 weeks ago.

I had this funky patch of dry skin on my leg that had been bothering me since just after Christmas, but because of other unpleasantries I was ignoring it. I noticed other red spots starting to form so I finally showed it to mom. She told me it looked like ringworm and Nicki told me I needed to stop rolling with the ally cats behind the dumpsters.

Off to the doc I go!

Doctor lady told me what it was and had me mix, yet another lovely concoction of a steroid cream with A&D diaper cream to put on it.

Excuse me? You want me to rub butt cream all over my body? Nice. That's going to smell good.

Two days later it had gotten worse, which if it did that they wanted more of my money and to see me again. At this visit I was told the special recipe wasn't supposed to make it go away, just treat the itchiness.

Um, I wasn't itchy until I had to rub butt cream all over myself. Now I itch like a crazy person!

No more mixing of the creams. Need to add a moisturizer because I have dry skin. I also need to eat more leafy green vegetables because perhaps this has been caused by a lack of magnesium and one day soon I'm going to wake up and look like doctor lady - overweight, bad skin, gray hair greased back into a bad pony tail and talking out the side of my mouth. Her vision, not mine.

After giving me this fine lecture, doctor lady leaves the room and heads next door to the dude I had been sitting in the waiting room with. She was sure to let him know that the girl in the next room had a rash and now she was feeling itchy. Beasty dumb doctor lady. Whatever. My special rash isn't even contagious so hush it on up now.

Not sure when this episode will be over. According to the WebMD it can spread it nasty little self around for 2 weeks, chill for 2 weeks and take its sweet time leaving over 2 weeks. We shall see.

See? Weird things happen to me. Weird things.

Mommy, will you play with me?

Words I never hear come from Alyssa's mouth. She is famous for entertaining herself for hours on end. For example, a few months ago I was down with a crappy sore throat/cold. I laid down on the couch and told Alyssa that I was going to take a little snooze. She said that was fine and she would just be coloring in her room. Well... four hours later I get off the couch and she is still in her room coloring. She would come out from time to time and show me her creations, but other than that I didn't really see her. Self - entertaining.

This week was different. The poor girl had her turn to have the crappy cold. Note, I did not say "down" with a cold. Not much gets her down, certainly not a silly cold. She was just as playful as usual, but unfortunately couldn't go to preschool or dance OR play in the snow (devasting for her). Not having her normal social schedule... well the girl needs to see her friends. She did inform me that "all her kids at preschool will say 'where's Alyssa?' and they will miss her."

By about Tuesday afternoon I started hearing "um... Mommy? Will you play polly pockets with me?" Uh... what? Me? You actually WANT to play with ME?!?! Well hot dog, absolutely I will!

Polly pockets was the most favored of our play time. Let it be known, that I am not allowed to be Cinderella. Not only that, but none of the princesses are allowed to wear their own clothes. They have to share. All of them.

I will admit, after about the 19th session of polly pockets, I thought I'd had enough of it. I tried to get her to do something else with me, but she her mind was made up. Polly pockets it is.

That girl is such a character. Everyday was another princess' "marrying day." They have magic dresses and pajammie dresses. Sometimes when they kiss a frog they turn into a frog, and sometimes they turn in to a mouse. They have slumber parties and have to rescue eachother from Ursula or Mergona. The stories are never ending. I absolutely adore her imagination.

This week was pretty relaxing considering the bit of sickness that decided to come for a few days.

Since we didn't go anywhere my house looks amazing!

Alyssa is feeling much better and is looking forward to preschool tomorrow.

She's also looking forward to a little more fun out in the snow when she's "all the way, all better."

Excited doesn't quite seem a big enough word...

Some dear friends of mine are on their way to sign adoption papers for a baby girl that was born this morning. I'M SO EXCITED FOR THEM!!! They've been approved an waiting for a couple years and it's finally happening. Praying our guts out that this happens for them!!! Can't wait to meet that little sweetie...